she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
