Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
