**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to fling myself into the sun
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
