So drunk, too bad you don't want this
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize