you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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