I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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