Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's always time for handjobs
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
