somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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