is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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