You're so nebulous sometimes
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
