We tried having a conversation with our noses.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
