I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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