Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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