I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
home. puking in laundry basket.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
