Swine flu. Run for my life!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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