No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
