just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
