The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize