i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Edward fifth and chaser hands
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
