I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i barfeds in our rink
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
