Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
