I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
