At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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