I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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