At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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