Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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