I want to stick my p in your. b.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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