I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
