idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
that may or may not have been my penis.
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