Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
