I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize