im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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