its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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