Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
