He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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