I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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