you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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