the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize