Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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