I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
