Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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