hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
