All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
