i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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