when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
