sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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