That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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