I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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