we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
