She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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