I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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