if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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