Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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