ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
