i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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