I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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