wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
