Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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