i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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