yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
