I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
