Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
