Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
