Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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