I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
