Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
