Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
