You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
