Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
