The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize