i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
